The Bus Theory in Dating [A Tik Tok Trend]

You’ve probably experienced it at some point: long dry spells where no romantic prospects come your way, followed by sudden clusters of dating options. This phenomenon has been dubbed “the bus theory” —and while it may initially seem like luck or coincidence, understanding it can actually help optimize your dating journey.

The Origins

The bus theory analogy stems from the common experience of waiting for public transport. Buses tend to arrive in groups after long gaps of no buses at all. This sporadic availability is applied to the dating world, where interest often comes in “bundles” after periods of no romantic possibilities.

Just like with buses, the influx of dating options may subside again quickly. So the theory advises making the most of romantic spikes without taking availability for granted or forcing connections in scarcity mindsets.

Dry Spells and Droughts

When you’re single, dry spells can feel endless—it may seem like you’ll never stumble upon a promising date prospect. But the bus theory states droughts eventually end.

Staying optimistic through singledom valleys sets you up to capitalize on relationship peaks. Even if many buses don’t stop for you, stick around the station and your patience may be rewarded.

Analysis Paralysis

When multiple dating options do finally arise, the bus theory can also lead to decision paralysis. With so much choice after a scarcity period, determining the “best bus” becomes challenging.

Avoid overanalyzing every prospect when they cluster together. Hop on different routes to see where they lead instead of judging solely by outward appearances. Route 21 might look flashier than 71 initially, but may end up taking you somewhere less compatible long-term.

Forced Connections

The bus theory can also create temptation to force relationships with incompatible people due to fear the dating drought will resume. But patience is key—more prospects will come if you avoid settling out of scarcity mindsets.

Focus on meaningful compatibility markers, not just relief at having options. Just because three buses arrive together doesn’t mean you must catch one immediately. Wait if none feel totally right yet.

Casual Dating Ethics

Some subscribe to casually dating multiple partners when the bus theory strikes. This can be ethical if honest with all involved.

But be mindful—if you do start relationships during a spike, treat partners respectfully and avoid misleading anyone about your intentions. Don’t view people like interchangeable buses.

Timing Challenges

The sporadic timing of the bus theory poses planning challenges too. You can’t predict when droughts end or clusters appear.

To capitalize on spikes, remain flexible and act quickly when prospects arise—but not rashly. Move initial dates sooner to maintain momentum, but still screen thoughtfully.

Future Buses

Another key lesson is more options will come, so don’t force things. Even if you miss the current bus wave, stay open.

Avoid clinging onto suboptimal connections out of fear you’ll never date again. Have faith the bus theory will repeat—new prospects arrive when you least expect them.

The bus theory emphasizes dating requires patience, self-knowledge and occasionally taking leaps of faith. By learning its lessons, you can optimize your chances of ultimately boarding the right bus.