5 Signs Of Toxic Spirituality
Spirituality is a personal journey of growth, understanding, and connection. However, some manifestations of spirituality can be harmful rather than helpful. This is what we call toxic spirituality.
Toxic spirituality twists spiritual concepts like mindfulness, manifestation, or karma into weapons.
Practices meant to bring inner peace end up being used to ignore personal responsibility, blame external circumstances or judge others.
Toxic positivity is one example. Rather than allowing space for painful emotions, toxic positivity says you must be happy all the time, or you lack faith. This suppresses normal human feelings of anger, grief, or fear.
5 Signs Of Toxic Spirituality
Blaming Others And Believing You Are Superior
One clear sign of toxic spirituality is blaming others for their circumstances while believing you are superior.
For example, someone may lose a loved one and fall into depression or addiction. Rather than having empathy, a toxic spiritual person judges them as weak and claims they manifested the negative circumstance.
This completely disregards the complexity of life and the depth of human emotion. Toxic spiritual people often believe if someone is struggling, it’s because they lack faith or haven’t “elevated their vibration” enough.
This worldview assumes life is black and white – if you think positive thoughts, you’ll have an ideal life. It lacks nuance and compassion.
Struggles are seen as personal failings rather than complex situations. This false sense of superiority is often a mask for deep insecurity and avoidance of responsibility.
It’s easier to blame others than acknowledge one’s flaws. Toxic positivity becomes a weapon to divide people into “chosen ones” versus “negative people.”
True spirituality recognizes all humans have intrinsic worth and face diverse challenges. With empathy and understanding, we can support each other through difficulties rather than judge. Life is complex, and we all make mistakes. Progress comes through compassion, not condemnation.
Forcing positivity or spiritual ideas onto others
One clear sign of toxic spirituality is when someone forces positivity, spiritual explanations, or cheerfulness onto others who are struggling or in pain. For example, telling someone grieving the loss of a loved one to “look on the bright side” or that “it’s all part of God’s plan.”
This type of toxic positivity completely dismisses and invalidates the other person’s complex emotions and realities.
Rather than allowing space for the full range of human emotions, toxic positivity tries to suppress “negative” feelings and impose a false veneer of happiness.
This can make people feel ashamed or guilty for having reasonable emotional reactions to life’s challenges. It suggests their pain is not acceptable or “spiritual” enough.
Toxic positivity also manifests when people use spiritual concepts to explain away injustice or hardship rather than taking action.
For instance, telling someone in poverty to “manifest abundance” while ignoring systemic issues. This breeds complacency rather than compassion.
True spirituality recognizes that the human experience includes suffering and does not judge others for their emotional responses. Healthy spirituality focuses inward on growth rather than outward to force rigid positivity onto others.
With empathy and understanding, we can support each other through life’s difficulties rather than invalidate them. The key is allowing space for authentic human emotion.
Using spirituality to avoid responsibility
One common form of spiritual bypassing is using spiritual principles to rationalize avoiding responsibility for one’s circumstances and actions. For example, someone might lose their job due to chronic lateness. Rather than acknowledging their role, they say “the universe just had something else planned for me.” This allows them to sidestep accountability.
Similarly, someone might refuse to apologize for hurting a friend, believing their actions were part of “God’s plan” or meant to “teach a karmic lesson.” This distorts spiritual teachings to justify behavior rather than taking responsibility.
Spiritual bypassing also occurs when people attribute external events solely to other people’s “negative energy” or “vibrations.” This shifts blame rather than looking inward. While other people and environmental factors affect us, we still have responsibility for how we choose to react.
True spirituality focuses inward and encourages personal accountability. Rather than rationalizing behavior, it’s important to reflect on how your thoughts and actions impact others. Apologizing when appropriate and changing hurtful behaviors requires courage and compassion.
Blaming external forces or believing things are predestined can provide comfort. However, avoiding responsibility hinders growth. We all make mistakes, but spiritual maturity involves acknowledging when our actions have caused harm so that we can learn and grow from the experience.
Judging others instead of having compassion
It’s easy to judge others when we don’t take the time to understand their full experience. For instance, seeing someone begging on the street, it’s tempting to assume they are lazy or brought circumstances upon themselves. However, having true compassion means looking deeper at systemic factors, trauma, mental health challenges, or other nuances that contribute to hardship.
Rather than writing someone off based on surface impressions, compassion seeks to understand the whole human behind a situation. With empathy and an open mind, we can better relate to the complexities others face. This understanding breeds tolerance rather than condemnation.
Judgment also often comes from a place of insecurity. Critiquing others can be a defense mechanism when we feel inadequate ourselves. Healthy spirituality directs energy inward to address our shortcomings with self-compassion. This gives us the strength and wisdom to have empathy for others’ flaws as well.
Compassion takes courage, vulnerability, and an open heart. But embracing humanity in all its messiness uplifts us more than judging what we don’t yet understand. With patience and kindness, we can meet each other’s suffering with care.
Creating in-groups and out-groups, “chosen ones” vs others”
One harmful manifestation of toxic spirituality is when it creates division between “in-groups” and “out-groups.” Those deemed spiritually superior are part of the in-group, while others are excluded as somehow less evolved or enlightened
This fuels an “us vs. them” mentality and a sense of spiritual elitism.
For example, a spiritual leader might claim those who follow their particular teachings or rituals are more connected to the divine truth.
This establishes the leader’s followers as the “chosen ones” and outsiders as spiritually lacking. Or, someone might believe their spiritual practices make them superior and more enlightened than others. This arrogance breeds judgment rather than compassion5.
Dividing people into “chosen ones” versus others also allows avoidance of responsibility since one can attribute hardship as stemming from not being part of the “in-group”. This distorts spiritual principles to divide rather than unite.
True spirituality recognizes all humans have intrinsic worth and face diverse challenges. With empathy and understanding, we can find common ground rather than focus on differences. Spiritual growth comes through inner reflection, not proclaiming superiority over others. The key is focusing inward rather than making broad judgments outward.
Overcoming Toxic Spirituality
If you notice signs of a toxic spiritual environment, what can you do? Here are some tips:
Listen to Your Intuition
Your inner voice often knows when something feels off long before your rational mind catches up. Listen when your gut tells you a teacher or teaching seems manipulative or harmful. Don’t ignore red flags.
Educate Yourself
Learn to recognize unhealthy behaviors masquerading as spirituality, like blaming, shaming, conforming blindly, and avoiding responsibility. Understanding toxic spiritual patterns makes you harder to manipulate.
Find Compassion for Yourself
Toxic spirituality often uses shame and guilt to control followers. Combat this by cultivating self-compassion. Accept yourself and honor your feelings, needs, and journey. You are enough.
Focus Inward, Not Outward
Redirect away from an unhealthy outward focus on judging others or conformity. Refocus your spiritual practice on inner work like self-understanding, growth, and purpose.
Embrace Emotions
Allow yourself to feel and process the full range of human emotions. Don’t force toxic positivity. Create space for difficult feelings to pass through you, often leading to deeper wisdom.
Take Responsibility
Owning your role in circumstances allows growth. Don’t avoid responsibility by blaming external energies, astrology, or curses. Take a growth mindset to challenges.
Find Communities of Light
Seek out spiritually-minded communities focused on compassion, diversity, and empowerment of members. Leave groups that engender superiority, conformity, or division.
Create Boundaries
Limit interactions with toxic spiritual people in your life. Set boundaries around manipulation or judgment. You can’t necessarily change them, but you can choose what reaches you.
The antidote to toxic spirituality is inner work, self-knowledge, emotional honesty, and taking full responsibility. Keep your spiritual house clean by allowing intuition to guide you toward compassion and away from toxins.
How Can I Become More Spiritual?
With all the talk about toxic spirituality, it’s understandable to feel hesitant about exploring your spiritual side. But having a spiritual practice can be a very positive force when approached healthily. Spirituality at its core is about growth, understanding ourselves and others better, and feeling connected to something bigger than ourselves.
If you’re interested in cultivating your spiritual self without the toxicity, there are many modalities you can try. Finding the practices that resonate most with you is key. Here are some beginner-friendly options:
Meditation is one of the cornerstones of developing spiritually. Setting aside time each day to quiet your mind builds self-awareness and inner peace. Try starting with just 5-10 minutes a day of focusing on your breath and mindfulness. Apps like Headspace or Insight Timer can guide you.
Yoga connects spirituality with physical movement. Linking breath with poses brings body awareness while calming the mind. Yoga helps release emotions stored in the body too. Take beginner classes to learn proper form before diving in deeper.
Journaling allows you to tune in to your inner world. Writing stream-of-consciousness entries explores your unfiltered thoughts and feelings. This builds understanding of your inner self over time. Morning pages are a great way to start.
Affirmations reprogram limiting beliefs and instill empowering ones. Repeating positive mantras about yourself, even if you don’t fully believe them yet, can work wonders. Write them on post-its and recite them while getting ready in the morning.
Chakra work balances your body’s spiritual energy centers. Each chakra corresponds to different emotions and needs. Using crystals, meditation, or yoga to cleanse chakras realigns your whole system.
Finding 10-15 minutes daily to devote to these practices makes a big difference over time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t force it. Follow your intuition to explore new modalities or go deeper into the ones you connect with.
The key is focusing inwardly, not comparing yourself to others. Spirituality is a journey into your true self, blinders removed. By peeling away layers mindfully and with compassion, you uncover the light within.
